Saturday, December 7, 2013

Thoughts on death, friends, faith...

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.    Psalm 23:4

Just got back from a funeral of a guy I knew in high school who had a rather tragic death. I got to see quite a few friends there. Some of which I stay in pretty good contact while others I haven't seen practically since high school. We did a lot of reminiscing, a little talking, hugging... I find it difficult when hanging out with that group of friends because most of them are either atheists or Mormons. All of them know I am a believer (and a few of them even know I've moved to more of a Messianic faith) and I've even had talks about faith on a deeper level with a few of them. But overall we stick to just the regular stuff, "So what do you do now? How's the family? Where are you living? How's the weather like-?".

Its fun to see these friends. They're really physically affectionate which I love :). But, also... it makes my stomach hurt and makes me deeply sad at times.

Funerals are so humbling for me. Beliefs about the afterlife are SO different! Even (and almost especially) in all the areas of Christianity. Being someone who is fairly opinionated and passionate (though maybe not always vocally) about what I believe about things, God really showed me this time, when I was really frustrated with what was being said at the funeral (because I disagreed with it) God was sort of quieting me. He was reminding me that really, every person on this earth cannot have an absolutely true understanding of what happens when we die. Though I am super confident about YHVH, who He is and what He's about (though I obviously don't know everything) the afterlife is not super discussed fully in the Bible, thus I have an idea, but I understand that we all do not have a perfect knowledge of it. Its really a mystery.

I really struggled with wanting to go to this funeral or not, but I feel like God might have had me go to really, just love. Just show my support. Be a shoulder to cry on. Hands and ears to comfort. And really silently pray for the comfort and true salvation of my friends.

I definitely think there is a time to share faith, to question friends beliefs and challenge them to examine their lives. I also believe, God is teaching me this a TON lately, that there is a time for everything. This time was a time to be present and be quite and let God do some ministering.

Shabbat Shalom


Tuesday, October 1, 2013

A little encouragement

Here is Charles Spurgeon's commentary on Psalm 37:34-

"Wait on the Lord." We have here the eighth precept, and it is a lofty eminence to attain to. Tarry the Lord's leisure. Wait in obedience as a servant, in hope as an heir, in expectation as a believer. This little word "wait" is easy to say, but hard to carry out, yet faith must do it. "And keep his way." Continue in the narrow path; let no haste for riches or ease cause unholy action. Let your motto be, "On, on, on," Never flag, or dream of turning aside. "He that endureth to the end, the same shall be saved." "And he shall exalt thee to inherit the land." Thou shalt have all of earthly good which is really good, and of heavenly good there shall be no stint. Exaltation shall be the lot of the excellent. "When the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see it." A sight how terrible and how instructive! What a rebuke for fretfulness! what an incentive to gratitude! My soul, be still, as thou foreseest the end, the awful end of the Lord's enemies.

Got this from using the FREE software eSword. Totally recommend it!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Worried Song Bird

BEAUTIFUL song, a collab of one of the greater banjo players of our time and I think a well known African singer! I LOVE the sound of her rich, strong, clear voice with the distinct constant plucking of the banj :) I'm really sad I haven't found this sooner in my life!

Enjoy and shalom!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

... Free at last

Just listened to Dr. Kings speech for a lesson plan I'm writing.

Lately not much has changed. I still sometimes feel stuck and still feel more than ever Gods constant calling to repentance and calling for my life to change and become more like His Son. Yom Kippur is soon coming, the day in which we are to humble ourselves and seek the Lord in confession and for forgiveness.

Listening to Kings speech reminds me once again to care about the injustices I see and to look into myself to make sure I am standing up for truth. It also reminded me, along with a lot of other things recently, to persevere for the right thing. Racism still exists today, maybe not as prevalent but it still does. Does that mean we just give up and let it keep going? Absolutely not.

Just because I still struggle with the same bad habit's as I have for a long time should I just let them slide? Absolutely not.

I don't know if you celebrate Yom Kippur, but I recommend on Saturday at some point, take time to come clean before the Lord. Ask Him to search you and be willing to confess and stop doing what He's asking you to stop with the strength He gives you.

It will be worth the fight. Persevere.

When we allow freedom to ring-when we let it ring
from every city and every hamlet, from every state and
every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all
of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and
Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join
hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual,
"Free at last, Free at last, Great God a-mighty, We are free at last."
  “He who has an ear, let him hear...To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God.”’ Revelation 2:7

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

A statement on the Palestinian conflict

I am going to make Jerusalem a cup that sends all the surrounding peoples reeling. Judah will be besieged as well as Jerusalem. On that day, when all the nations of the earth are gathered against her, I will make Jerusalem an immovable rock for all the nations. All who try to move it will injure themselves. (Zechariah 12:2-3)

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: they shall prosper that love thee. (Psalm 122:6)

God had said to David and to Solomon his son, In this house, and in Jerusalem, which I have chosen before all the tribes of Israel, will I put my name for ever. (2 Chronicles 33:7) 
For Zion’s sake will I not hold my peace, and for Jerusalem’s sake I will not rest, until the righteousness thereof go forth as brightness, and the salvation thereof as a lamp that burneth. (Isaiah 62:1)

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Beautiful Quote

“We shall begin to understand the link between law and liberty if we go back to the very moment of the law giving at Mount Sinai. The LORD is speaking (Exodus 20:22) to those whom He has brought out of Egypt. They have been redeemed (Exodus 6:6) and the means of their redemption was the blood of the lamb (Exodus 12:13).

We see then that the LORD gives His law, not as a means to salvation but as a lifestyle for those who have already been saved. It is the way He wants His redeemed ones to live.

But then he goes on to say that He is speaking to those for whom He has brought out of bondage (Exodus 20:2b) not to those whom He is bringing into bondage by imposing His law upon them, but those who are now for the first time enjoying liberty and to whom He gives His perfect law in order to safe guard the freedom He has secured for them. 

True freedom is the opportunity and the ability to give expression to what we truly are. We are truly free when we live the life appropriate to those who are created in the image of God.

The Law of God safeguards that liberty for us, but it does even more for obedience brings life and power (Leviticus 18:5) (Deuteronomy 4:1a) (Acts 5:32).

The Law of God is the Law of liberty because it safeguards, expresses and enables the life of true freedom into which Christ has brought us.

This is the blessing of which James speaks the blessing of a full life, a true humanity; obedience is the key factor in our enjoyment of it.”

J.A. Motyer, The Message of James

Monday, August 19, 2013

Song of JOY!!

Download this album for free from!!!

Really speaking to my situation, providing me new songs of worship!!!

Sunday, August 18, 2013


I had a beautiful weekend with family and some crazy things happened.

First off, after around a year and a half of dating (all starting while I was in Houston) my mom and her boyfriend Paul officially got engaged! There were many different emotions and things going around it my head: the weirdness of it (after seeing my mom single for the good part of my life, then suddenly her having a boyfriend and now a fiancé), the hesitation (things are never going to be exactly the same again), the questions (is this right?), and the joy! (this is a DIRECT answer to my prayers for my mom for many years coming to life).

Not only did we get to spend the weekend with Paul and his son PJ but one of my FAVORITE people ever (not to mention, a cool aunt and uncle with 2 out-of-this-world adorable kiddos) came to town, Mikey!!!

The weekend was also full of testing, struggling to keep Shabbat set apart, struggle with sin patterns that rear their ugly head in my laxness, but none of them really could hamper the beautiful time it was.

Mikey and I even went on an EPIC bike ride and had probably one of our longest one on ones ever. Seeing the desire for growth and revelation of the love of God in Mikey was also a humblingly beautiful moment of realization that God has yet again answered a huge prayer.

God is MERCIFUL and KIND. He's coming for a PURE BRIDE. Let us make ourselves ready, live with a grateful heart, focus on what He has given, not our supposed lack and lets just bless each other!


Sunday, July 7, 2013

Be of good courage...

... and He shall strengthen your heart: wait I say, on the LORD.
Psalm 27:14
Waiting... something so counter-cultural, something so.... difficult. I feel like for the past 6 months all that I've hear from God is... wait, wait dear one. My heart has gone probably a million different directions and has looked down a million different paths since coming home from Mission Year. Coming here, back to where I'm from and doing the same ole' same ole' has been extremely difficult for me. There have been a few times where I've tried to jump the gun on God and figure things out for myself while waiting to still have His blessing... it hasn't worked. While praying the other day, seeking and desiring for my needs to be met or my frustrations to subside about where I feel my life is going, I just layed it all down. I felt better. I didn't have my answer but, i felt better. I slowly began to realize that God, in this time of waiting, is answering a prayer of my from times of passionate longing for Him. He is using this time to form me into the person that He desires me to be, cleansing out all that doesn't please Him. He's also giving me a lot of time by myself which has been pretty lonely at times if I'll admit it. But I see now that He's doing it because He wants to spend time with me... to really allow me to get to know Him (He already knows me). So now, I notice when I have a lot of free time and I spend it paroozing Facebook or the like I feel worse. I feel unfulfilled. And, to be honest, I feel jealous. But when I spend my time in His word, singing about Him, creating art inspired by Him... I don't have those feelings and I'm actually excited about the future, even though I'm seeing more and more that I have no idea what it holds for me. But one thing I do know, if I continue to allow Him, my God and King, YHVH, that its going to be alright... not just alright but GREAT.
Here are some verses for you, to encourage you to wait. Don't step ahead of God, "He makes all things beautiful in His time." Ecclesiastes 3:11

Lamentations 3:25 ESV        

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.              

Psalm 39:7 ESV          

“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.              

Psalm 37:7 ESV        

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!              

Micah 7:7 ESV        

But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.    

Isaiah 40:31 ESV         

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.              

Isaiah 30:18 ESV        

Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.              

Isaiah 33:2 ESV        

O Lord, be gracious to us; we wait for you. Be our arm every morning, our salvation in the time of trouble.              

Isaiah 64:4 ESV        

From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him.              

Isaiah 49:23 ESV        

Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who wait for me shall not be put to shame.”         

Psalm 25:5 ESV         

Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.              

Psalm 130:6 ESV        

My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.              

Psalm 62:1 ESV         

For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.            

Isaiah 26:8 ESV         

In the path of your judgments, O Lord, we wait for you; your name and remembrance are the desire of our soul.              

Psalm 130:5 ESV        

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;       

Psalm 69:3 ESV        

I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God    

Psalm 40:1 ESV         

I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry.

Proverbs 20:22 ESV          

Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.              

Psalm 59:10 ESV    

My God in his steadfast love will meet me; God will let me look in triumph on my enemies.              

Galatians 5:5 ESV        

For through the Spirit, by faith, we ourselves eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness.              

Hosea 12:6 ESV    

“So you, by the help of your God, return, hold fast to love and justice, and wait continually for your God.”    

Lamentations 3:26 ESV         

It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.              

Isaiah 25:9 ESV        

It will be said on that day, “Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the Lord; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.”              

Titus 2:13 ESV    

Waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ,

Jeremiah 14:22 ESV         

Are there any among the false gods of the nations that can bring rain? Or can the heavens give showers? Are you not he, O Lord our God? We set our hope on you, for you do all these things.    

Psalm 123:2 ESV         

Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, till he has mercy upon us.              

Psalm 37:9 ESV        

For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.                  

Genesis 49:18 ESV          

I wait for your salvation, O Lord.              

1 Corinthians 13:4 ESV         

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant    

Isaiah 42:4 ESV         

He will not grow faint or be discouraged till he has established justice in the earth; and the coastlands wait for his law.

Monday, July 1, 2013

A look into my old neighborhood, the Third Ward

A DEAR friend of mine Laura Tremblay who was in another Mission Year house in Houston last year did another year in Houston as an intern and lived down the street from where I spent a year of my life last year. For Laura's teams' justice project (a project done by every MY house at the end of their year to support their neighborhood in some way) they did a documentary on the Third Ward!!! I'd probably say about 75% of the people in this video I knew VERY well last year. It brought tears to my eyes to see them again and joy to my heart knowing that they are still being loved well by people down there. Heres their doc, "The Big Beautiful Ward":

Wednesday, May 29, 2013


Not going to lie, this made me cry :)

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Just... slowly read this

Isaiah 54 NASB

The Fertility of Zion

54 Shout for joy, O barren one, you who have borne no child;
Break forth into joyful shouting and cry aloud, you who have not travailed;
For the sons of the desolate one will be more numerous
Than the sons of the married woman,” says the Lord.
2 Enlarge the place of your tent;
Stretch out the curtains of your dwellings, spare not;
Lengthen your cords
And strengthen your pegs.
3 “For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left.
And your descendants will possess nations
And will resettle the desolate cities.

4 “Fear not, for you will not be put to shame;
And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced;
But you will forget the shame of your youth,
And the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.
5 “For your husband is your Maker,
Whose name is the Lord of hosts;
And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel,
Who is called the God of all the earth.
6 “For the Lord has called you,
Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit,
Even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,”
Says your God.
7 For a brief moment I forsook you,
But with great compassion I will gather you.
8 “In an outburst of anger
I hid My face from you for a moment,
But with everlasting lovingkindness I will have compassion on you,”
Says the Lord your Redeemer.

9 “For this is like the days of Noah to Me,
When I swore that the waters of Noah
Would not flood the earth again;
So I have sworn that I will not be angry with you
Nor will I rebuke you.
10 “For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake,
But My lovingkindness will not be removed from you,
And My covenant of peace will not be shaken,”
Says the Lord who has compassion on you.

11 “O afflicted one, storm-tossed, and not comforted,
Behold, I will set your stones in antimony,
And your foundations I will lay in sapphires.
12 “Moreover, I will make your battlements of rubies,
And your gates of crystal,
And your entire wall of precious stones.
13 All your sons will be taught of the Lord;
And the well-being of your sons will be great.
14 “In righteousness you will be established;
You will be far from oppression, for you will not fear;
And from terror, for it will not come near you.
15 “If anyone fiercely assails you it will not be from Me.
Whoever assails you will fall because of you.
16 “Behold, I Myself have created the smith who blows the fire of coals
And brings out a weapon for its work;
And I have created the destroyer to ruin.
17 No weapon that is formed against you will prosper;
And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their vindication is from Me,” declares the Lord.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

All that I've been learning recently can be summed up in this statement:

Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, But humility goes before honor. Proverbs 18:12

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Favorite songs at the moment!

**in no particular order!

1. Sliding Down by Bela Fleck & Mike Marshall

2. Sunshine by Matisyahu

3. In the Quiet by Will Reagan & the United Pursuit

4. Windansea by Balmorhea

5. Never Have I Found by Josh Garrels

6. Because He Lives by David Crowder

7. Joy of Nothing by Foy Vance

8. 10,000 Reasons done by Rend Collective Experiment

9. Good Friday by Josh Garrels

10. Metropolis by Owl City

you should look them all up!


Friday, March 1, 2013

Faith, Doubt, Death and Cancer

I just finished bawling my eyes out.

About three or so years ago when I was on the popular social media site Tumblr, I heard about a little girl who was diagnosed with cancer. She was the daughter of Californian pastor Britt Merrick. I prayed for Daisy and would receive updates on her occasionally. After I got rid of my Tumblr, I would occasionally check up on a website the Merrick's made for Daisy's progress. I remember telling my mom a few times when I would find out that her cancer was in remission or when it had returned. I checked the website again after a long while of not checking it to find out that her condition had worsened greatly. I prayed for little Daisy when I heard it. I checked in about a week after that post to find out that she had died. I just finished watching her memorial service, you can find it here.

Cancer and death are such ugly things...

A close friend of my sisters best friend about a month ago was found to have committed suicide, with little to no indication of any depression problems.
A lady who has been like family to my family for many years was recently diagnosed with colon cancer. She had surgery today and will, God willing come home in around five days.
I received a call this morning from one of my dear neighbors in Houston to let me know that her mother, a wonderful sweet lady whom I had laughed and enjoyed time with and prayed with, passed away yesterday.

As I watched Daisy's memorial service I found myself moved to tears, lots of tears. Even though I didn't personally know this little girl, the stories of her faith were extremely moving, as well as the brokenness and sting on the faces of her friends and family. All those tears weren't just for Daisy though...

They were for each of my dear friends who are suffering from the affects of cancer and death... Things that I do not think are in the will of God but that God has somehow worked into His plan.

Doubt was discussed some by Daisy's father. He admitted that she asked all the questions that we all would have asked if we were her at different points of her journey: Why is there cancer? Why do I have it? Will I die? Where is God in all of this? Despite the doubt, it sounds like Daisy chose to believe that God was greater than her circumstances and became from the sounds of it, one of the most grateful little girls that I have ever heard of. In the midst of horrible pain that no one should experience let alone a little girl, she, out of her own volition, would choose to send God joy filled prayers of thanks for her family and friends, and not "why me" prayers concerning her situation. As her mom was sharing she mentioned the all to real fact that the things we complain about in America cannot compare with the horrors and struggle most face on a daily basis in other countries, and yet we begin to doubt God if we don't get exactly what we want while people who are going without food are joyfully trusting the Lord......

I too, am guilty of this kind of sickly, puffed up (as Daisy's mom put it) entitlement.

For anyone reading this, let this be a reminder that EVERYTHING is a GIFT,

E V E R Y  D A Y is a GIFT given by the Father of Lights.

Please, say a prayer for yours and my suffering friends, and LORD PLEASE may we all think twice before complaining about anything.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Friday, February 8, 2013

Missing a special some"where"...

*Quick posts in between assignments :D*

Just spent some time visually catching up with some friends back in Houston via Instagram (online... no smartphone yet :P) and through a picture a friend sent to me ^ ^.

Sometimes it feels like last year never happened... other times it feels like I'm just on a break. I am most definitely not the same person I was before going... but now I'm not even the same person that was there either.

Isn't it amazing how the Lord changes and grows us? Sometimes at a rate that we aren't even prepared for...

One thing I know right now is, its really hard having friends all over the world (which I literally do at this point!) And its not like some of these people were just acquaintances either, some of them are the most beautiful people I've met and shared real, gritty, messy life with like my roommates Kate, Esther, Courtney, Victoria and Abbie... my boss Lanecia and many others. I can be a horrible person with staying in touch and as I get older and meet more and more amazing people it becomes harder still in more ways than one.

At the end of the day I look at it with the point of view that there is just that many more amazing people left for me to meet and spend time with in the season that God has placed me in right now, and God needs to share the other amazing people with the others that they will meet.

None the less... I'm missing that HOT MESS of a city in Texas today! And all the people included :D

the porch
One of my favorite memories their, 2 song for Leroys book tour

luv Abs 4EVA!
LOVE this lady!

Bourtney bein' Bourtney :D

... Boo :)...
*sigh*..... Kev

I will never forget this wonder man!

I learned to ride a bike in this city man!!

GREAT people!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Blogpost from an old roommate

Hello all.

After sorting through the rediculous amount of paper in my room, I found a newsletter from my friend who's in Houston doing the internship with the non-profit I worked for last year, Mission Year. She not only sent her update but also a few postcards Mission Year made up for promotional stuff that had me and my roommates from last year on it! *nostalgia* :)

So I decided to peruse the Mission Year website and found one of my old roommates just wrote an article for her alma mater sometime last year about her time in Mission Year. Her article TOTALY brought me back! Most of the neighbors she mentions in the article were my neighbors as well with whom I really cared for. Like when she mentions Marcelina's cooking.... OH MAN is she not kidding, it was THE BEST Mexican food I've EVER had!

Here's a link to the article, it'll give you a little taste of how I felt last year. Kate is super articulate :)

Have a good one!


Saturday, January 12, 2013

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

2 Great Videos

Quinoa, mmmmmmm!!! Made this for dinner tonight, D-LISH!

The director really captured the feel of the country

Might be updating soon with some sketches of mine.. an idea for a new painting... :D