Abba, I Belong to You

This name... of God, has been the cry of my heart recently. Its the name I've been using for Him more and more and more.

God... His Breath.... is blowing down expectations, walls and boxes I've been trying to fit Him in. I feel that I'm slowing coming out of a desert into a greener place. I'm beginning to realise as well, that life is full of both high and low places. And when things seem to be going right and God seems close, or when nothing goes right, you keep messing up and God seems far.... He hasn't left. A phrase my new pastor repeats quite often that I want to become the saying for my life: S t a y   y o u r   c o u r s e.

When your coming to these places of clarity, of earnest desire for God, you wonder why you would ever want anything else.

Something that has stuck with me, that I believe God allowed me to see to lead me to call Him this name... Abba... on the plane to Jerusalem, there was this sweet little Jewish family sitting in front of us: a dad, mom, a little girl around 3 years old and a baby. The little girl was asleep for a good part of the trip, but when she woke up she got fussy. She started to cry, "Abba! Abba!" Calling out as many young children do when they feel something is wrong with them and they want their dad to fix it. While remembering how this little "child of God" crying out for her Abba... something clicked in my spirit.

A few weeks ago when I was completely broken down and confused... I was that little girl. And I did exactly as she did, I cried for my Abba. And He answered me.

And He will answer your call to Him

And I'm sure I will cry out again, but as I'm learning, I can always trust Him


because He is Abba




**I had to put this in, it is SO SO SO very true. This is a comment from this video on YouTube:

Love this song, it's the new vine. Its fresh and written for this generation calling out for fatherhood



Abba, I Belong to You by Jonathan David Helser

You're more real than the wind in my lungs

You're more real than the ground I'm standing on

You're thoughts define me, you're inside me

You're my reality

Abba, I belong to you

You're closer than the skin on my bones

You're closer than the song on my tongue

Malachi 3

Malachi 3 (English Standard Version)


"Behold, I send my messenger, and he will prepare the way before me. And the Lord whom you seek will suddenly come to his temple; and the messenger of the covenant in whom you delight, behold, he is coming, says the LORD of hosts. But who can endure the day of his coming, and who can stand when he appears? For he is like a refiner’s fire and like fullers’ soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, and they will bring offerings in righteousness to the LORD. Then the offering of Judah and Jerusalem will be pleasing to the LORD as in the days of old and as in former years. "Then I will draw near to you for judgment. I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, against the adulterers, against those who swear falsely, against those who oppress the hired worker in his wages, the widow and the fatherless, against those who thrust aside the sojourner, and do not fear me, says the LORD of hosts. "For I the LORD do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed. From the days of your fathers you have turned aside from my statutes and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you, says the LORD of hosts. But you say, 'How shall we return?' Will man rob God? Yet you are robbing me. But you say, 'How have we robbed you?' In your tithes and contributions.  You are cursed with a curse, for you are robbing me, the whole nation of you.  Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the LORD of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need. I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your soil, and your vine in the field shall not fail to bear, says the LORD of hosts. Then all nations will call you blessed, for you will be a land of delight, says the LORD of hosts. "Your words have been hard against me, says the LORD. But you say, 'How have we spoken against you?' You have said, 'It is vain to serve God. What is the profit of our keeping his charge or of walking as in mourning before the LORD of hosts? And now we call the arrogant blessed. Evildoers not only prosper but they put God to the test and they escape.'" Then those who feared the LORD spoke with one another. The LORD paid attention and heard them, and a book of remembrance was written before him of those who feared the LORD and esteemed his name. "They shall be mine, says the LORD of hosts, in the day when I make up my treasured possession, and I will spare them as a man spares his son who serves him. Then once more you shall see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between one who serves God and one who does not serve him.

Richard Dahlstrom

*melancholy sigh*

Though I dont agree with every single part of his theology, the pastor from my home church in Seattle, Richard Dahlstrom has some really good things to say. He has a fantastic blog that I really occasionally. Read a few of his entries just now, GOOD WORDS! Here's one about abstinance and here's another about arguments over non-crucial things within the church


I miss it :(

G R A C E

I can at times be harsh

And condemning


Yes, we need to keep each other accountable as brothers and sisters in Christ. "...let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins." James 5:20

However, "But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: 'God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.' Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." James 4:6-7

And especially, "Mercy triumphs over judgment." James 2:13

(*you can guess what book I read this morning*)

A very small glimpse of the HUGE MASSIVE grace of God was shown to me this morning. Yesterday when I woke up, when I would lay flat on my back my eyes acted like I had just gotten off of a roller coaster or a merry-go-round. Then I would turn to my side and be fine. I was doing exercises I normally don't do the night before, and I broke my tailbone a couple months ago so I thought I should probably call a chiropractor. The one in town is a man who goes to my church whose wife I sing with on worship team occasionally. So I called and made an appointment for this morning. Well, later in the day yesterday I noticed that the nausea was gone (PRAISE GOD!) so I called him back to cancel my appointment but I just got the answering machine so I left a message. I felt like this morning I should probably call again just in case he didn't get the message. I was feeling kind of guilty because I made a kinda early appointment so I was hoping that he didn't got into work early just for me. When I called he said he hadn't checked the messages yet, so I told him I had to cancel and I was very sorry. Instead of the sound of annoyance coming from his reply, there was total grace.  "That's totally fine!" he said in a cheery sort of way.

However little and insignificant that story might seem, I think God wants us to look for signs of His grace everywhere and too not only recognize His grace, but to receive it HUMBLY. So in the future when I want to act all high-and-mighty with someone, I will remember that there is only ONE Perfect One and He has given me MUCH grace so I must give MUCH grace.

We serve such a good God who is so patient with us!




Also just letting you know from the last entry, the big decision has been decided:

I'm going to Mission Year next year :)