"My yoke is easy... My burden is light"

Just had another epiphany moment with God today.

I've been really struggling recently with something that I've been bothered with my entire life which I guess I'll just tell you... wanting to be in a relationship. Its really annoying to me because it seems like whenever I come to a point of clarity and peace about a problem, Satan throws another one in right after it. The one thing that is most discouraging to me is the amount of time i spend in thought about my stupid problems. And yes, I know, alot of people tell me that its normal for me to be feeling this way and having this desire for someone else to be in my life. But something I've been trying to figure out recently is if God has intended for me to be single my entire life. Because that is something that He does occasionally with people. When I think about this for too long i begin feeling despair and hopelessness, that I will never get what I truly desire.

This morning when I went to pray I laid out my worry again before God, trying to constantly bring every thought that was not about Him to Him. I then was so frustrated with my inability, weakness and sin that cried out to God, "Please help me, i cant do this anymore" God brought to mind something strange. I pictured myself with 3 of my best friends and brother/sisters in Christ. We are all extremely close to one another and treat each other as siblings, including our one guy friend. I sighed and realized that is how it will be in the fully realized kingdom of God, we will all be children to the same Father and we will ALL be the bride to one Bridegroom. It was beautiful. All brokenness, loneliness and pain will be no more. We will have perfect community with our Creator and each other. Things will at last be how they should. So if i should receive that type of intimacy on earth or have to wait to receive it after, for that moment I was content in knowing that my Father knew the answer. For a moment i realized that He is the ONLY one who can truly fulfill any of the desires that I have. He is my Father, Brother and true Lover.

Though for now I feel I am at a point of clarity, and my soul is light once more, I recognize that I am not fully there yet and that i may again be clouded by the enemy's lies. BUT.... something that has stayed the same throughout my whole life is the constancy of God. Though i am untrustworthy, He is all powerful, all knowing, transcending God. And really at the end of the day it doesn't matter a stitch what I want or what happens to me at all as long as HE is Glorified.

I feel these words are so very true and power full and need to be heard more often,

"The moment we recognize our complete weakness and our dependence upon Him will be the very moment that the Spirit of God will exhibit His power." Oswald Chambers