{Preparation}

Wow...

There is so much I can say on this Shabbat.... I'm just floored. YHWH is SO good, even in the midst of our nothingness, our anguish, our joy- our everything!

For those who don't know, it looks like I'll be heading to Papua New Guinea to help out this wonderful missionary couple Marlin and Lynda Stucky towards the beginning of next year. I prayed quite a bit about this when I was let known their need for a media person once again (I had been hearing about them for years from some friends) and felt that through a few different confirmations that this is the direction that I was suppose to take. I've been met with interesting mixed reviews from people as well as in my own heart. I want SO DESPARATELY to dive into fundraising and preparing every little detail for this transition, being SO EXCITED about being in a new place again (and, to be honest, getting out of Quincy again [not to mention this time the United States!]).

But I feel this interesting restrain (I think) from God as well as actual restrain from circumstances about getting the right information and everything regarding this trip. I feel Him (and can concretely see) desperately asking and pleading me to wait on Him, His timing and His way, I was told even to consider that Elohim might have me prepare for months for this and end up having me do something else.

Even typing this out brings me some frustration and is revealing in me another layer of sin that, though I'll admit that I struggle with it, I haven't fully dealt with and that is control. I'm realizing that I am so forward thinking I can hardly take anything in right now, everything has to be planned out to the smallest detail. And also, I am so sure that I'm right (another problem :/) that I want people to do exactly what I want them to do and then everything will be right for them.

Now, Yah has been dealing with this in me for a while and the paragraph above is a description of the worst of this. I now see how our beautiful God is (sometimes rather forcefully) leading me out of this way of living and into constant dependence on Him not only for what to do and how to live life but also (just as importantly) how to guide others in this life.

For those of you who follow the feasts of the LORD, we are currently counting the Omer (I believe today will be the 40 or 41st day). I ran across a blog that I'm excited to fully explore that is about keeping the instructions of God in His word (Old and New Testaments) that has a FACINATING article about the Omer count that seemed to speak a LOT into my current situation... hopefully its true and not just wishful thinking ;)

http://messianicsabbath.com/2014/04/22/why-count-the-omer/

Shabbat shalom all!

Be of good courage...

... and He shall strengthen your heart: wait I say, on the LORD.

Psalm 27:14

 

 

Waiting... something so counter-cultural, something so.... difficult. I feel like for the past 6 months all that I've hear from God is... wait, wait dear one. My heart has gone probably a million different directions and has looked down a million different paths since coming home from Mission Year. Coming here, back to where I'm from and doing the same ole' same ole' has been extremely difficult for me. There have been a few times where I've tried to jump the gun on God and figure things out for myself while waiting to still have His blessing... it hasn't worked. While praying the other day, seeking and desiring for my needs to be met or my frustrations to subside about where I feel my life is going, I just layed it all down. I felt better. I didn't have my answer but, i felt better. I slowly began to realize that God, in this time of waiting, is answering a prayer of my from times of passionate longing for Him. He is using this time to form me into the person that He desires me to be, cleansing out all that doesn't please Him. He's also giving me a lot of time by myself which has been pretty lonely at times if I'll admit it. But I see now that He's doing it because He wants to spend time with me... to really allow me to get to know Him (He already knows me). So now, I notice when I have a lot of free time and I spend it paroozing Facebook or the like I feel worse. I feel unfulfilled. And, to be honest, I feel jealous. But when I spend my time in His word, singing about Him, creating art inspired by Him... I don't have those feelings and I'm actually excited about the future, even though I'm seeing more and more that I have no idea what it holds for me. But one thing I do know, if I continue to allow Him, my God and King, YHVH, that its going to be alright... not just alright but GREAT.

 

Here are some verses for you, to encourage you to wait. Don't step ahead of God, "He makes all things beautiful in His time." Ecclesiastes 3:11

 

 

Lamentations 3:25 ESV        

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.              

Psalm 39:7 ESV          

“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.              

Psalm 37:7 ESV        

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!              

Micah 7:7 ESV        

But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.    

Isaiah 40:31 ESV         

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.              

Isaiah 30:18 ESV        

Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.              

Isaiah 33:2 ESV        

O Lord, be gracious to us; we wait for you. Be our arm every morning, our salvation in the time of trouble.              

Isaiah 64:4 ESV        

From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him.              

Isaiah 49:23 ESV        

Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who wait for me shall not be put to shame.”         

Psalm 25:5 ESV         

Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.              

Psalm 130:6 ESV        

My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.              

Psalm 62:1 ESV         

For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.            

Isaiah 26:8 ESV         

In the path of your judgments, O Lord, we wait for you; your name and remembrance are the desire of our soul.              

Psalm 130:5 ESV        

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;       

Psalm 69:3 ESV        

I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God    

Psalm 40:1 ESV         

I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry.

Proverbs 20:22 ESV          

Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.              

Psalm 59:10 ESV    

My God in his steadfast love will meet me; God will let me look in triumph on my enemies.              

Galatians 5:5 ESV        

For through the Spirit, by faith, we ourselves eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness.              

Hosea 12:6 ESV    

“So you, by the help of your God, return, hold fast to love and justice, and wait continually for your God.”    

Lamentations 3:26 ESV         

It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.              

Isaiah 25:9 ESV        

It will be said on that day, “Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the Lord; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.”              

Titus 2:13 ESV    

Waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ,

Jeremiah 14:22 ESV         

Are there any among the false gods of the nations that can bring rain? Or can the heavens give showers? Are you not he, O Lord our God? We set our hope on you, for you do all these things.    

Psalm 123:2 ESV         

Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, till he has mercy upon us.              

Psalm 37:9 ESV        

For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.                  

Genesis 49:18 ESV          

I wait for your salvation, O Lord.              

1 Corinthians 13:4 ESV         

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant    

Isaiah 42:4 ESV         

He will not grow faint or be discouraged till he has established justice in the earth; and the coastlands wait for his law.